April 2008 - 17th

Today I read the first of the Buddhist sutras - I don’t know if it is coincidence that Mom happened to have one from our last trip to Hong Kong or not, but I certainly find it auspicious. It is titled the Sutra of the 42 Chapters. There were some verses in there I found very profound. I tried meditating on them while I was reading them, but while it is not exactly metaphorical like some passages from the Bible, it has a straight-forwardness about it that seems elusive to a mind that does not focus.

One particular teaching I liked from Buddha was from verses number 7 and 8:

The Buddha said: “There was one who heard that I upheld the Way and practise great benevolence and compassion. On this account, he came to scold me, but I remained silent and did not retort. When he had finished scolding me, I said: “Sir, if you treat another with courtesy and he does not accept it, does not the courtesy rebound to you?” He replied that it does and I continued: “Now you have just cursed me and I did not accept your curses, so that evil which you yourself did has now returned and fallen on you. For a sound accords with the noise that produced it and the reflection accords with the form. In the end there will be no escape, so take care lest you do what is evil.”

The Buddha said: “An evil man may wish to injure the Virtuous Ones and, raising his head, spit towards heaven, but the spittle, far from reaching heaven, will return and descend upon himself. An unruly wind may raise the dust, but the dust does not go elsewhere; it remains to contaminate the wind. Virtue cannot be destroyed, while evil inevitably destroys itself.”

How very true. And yet, it seems harder sometimes to put that into everyday context. As Buddha admitted: “It is hard to bear insult without making an angry reply.” Yes, it is hard. But no one said the Way or the virtuous path was ever an easy one. It’s so much easier to hate and become victim to our aversion and passions. That then is what they must mean about Buddhists having to actively fight peacefully to stay on the path of truth and compassion. It requires a suppression of the baser emotions. Constantly the Three Poisons (hatred, ignorance and lust) are struggling to find a liana grip to entangle us.

Sankata Nasana Ganapati Stotram

Namaste,

Sankata Nasana Stotram is a beautiful prayer by the sage, Narada, and is dedicated to Lord Ganesha in his 12 forms (dwadasa). The number 12 has particular significance, each manifestation meant to preside over the rashis of the zodiac:


nārada uvāca
The sage Narada spoke thus

praṇamya śirasā devaṁ gaurīputraṁ vināyakam
The learned one knows that the Son of Gauri, Lord Vinayaka
bhaktāvāsaṁ smarenityaṁ āyusḥkāmārthasiddhaye
Blesses those who salute Him, if that person wishes for more life, desires and wealth

prathamaṁ vakratuṇḍaṁ ca ekadantaṁ dvitīyakam
Firstly, think of Him as the One with the curving trunk (Vakratunda) and secondly as the Lord with the single tusk (Ekadanta)
tṛtīyaṁ kṛṣṇapiṅgākśaṁ gajavaktraṁ caturthakam
Thirdly, as the Lord with the red and black eyes (Krishnapingala) and fourthly as the elephant-faced Lord with four arms (Gajavaktra)

lambodaraṁ pañcamaṁ ca ṣaṣṭhaṁ vikaṭameva ca
Fifthly, as the pot-bellied One (Lambodara) and sixthly as the Lord with the huge form (Vikata)
saptamaṁ vighnarājendraṁ dhūmravarṇaṁ tathāṣṭamam
Seventhly as the King of Obstacles (Vighnaraja) and eighthly as the smoke-coloured One (Dhumravarna)

navamaṁ bhālacandraṁ ca daśamaṁ tu vināyakam
Ninthly, as the wearer of the crescent moon (Bhalachandra) and tenthly as the Lord of All (Vinayaka)
ekādaśaṁ gaṇapatiṁ dvādaśaṁ tu gajānanam
Eleventh, as Lord of the Ganas (Ganapati) and twelfth as the Elephant Lord (Gajanana)

dvādaśaitāni nāmāni trisaṁdhyaṁ yaḥ paṭhennaraḥ
Whoever reads these twelve names of Ganesha thrice daily with devotion
na ca vighnabhayaṁ tasya sarvasiddhikaraḥ prabhuḥ
Need not fear obstacles, because all achievements and success are his

vidyārthī labhate vidyāṁ dhanārthī labhate dhanam
He who desires wisdom, obtains wisdom, he who desires wealth, receives wealth
putrārthī labhate putrānmokśārthī labhate gatim
He who desires sons, obtains sons, he who desires liberation, receives liberation

japedgaṇapatistotraṁ ṣaḍbhirmāsaiḥ phalaṁ labhet
Whoever chants this hymn to Ganapati, reaches Him in six months
saṁvatsareṇa siddhiṁ ca labhate nātra saṁśayaḥ
Within a year all his wishes will be fulfilled, of this there is no doubt

aṣṭebhyo brāhmaṇebhyaśca likhitvā yaḥ samarpayet
One who receives this prayer, written by eight Brahmanas
tasya vidyā bhavetsarvā gaṇeśasya prasādataḥ
He will be blessed with great fortune, by the grace of Sri Ganesha

iti śrīnāradapurāṇe saṁkaṭanāśanaṁ gaṇeśastotraṁ saṁpūrṇam
This ends the Narada Purana prayer to Ganesha, who destroys all sorrow

April 2008

My faith is growing stronger in Lord Ganesha. Whenever I walk by the murti I have of Him, I feel an energy radiating from Him that always fills me with something like hope; like that feeling you get when you think you’ve got a good chance at something. Not quite ambition, and yet not as blind or naïve as hope. Lord Buddha’s murti always calms me. He seems so contemplative. When I want to fall into deep states of no-thought, I always meditate in front of him so that I may aspire to reach the state of mind he reaches.

Meditation tonight was very good. The mantra I am using suits me well. I felt something of a stirring around near my sixth chakra tonight, but I can’t tell if that was from my being in a deep contemplative trance, or if I were tired from today.

More next time. Om Shanti Shanti Shanti!

April 2008

Compassion is a funny thing. On the one hand, I don’t think there is a feeling more pure and divine in all the universe and that once you feel it in your deepest heart of hearts, it is something that will shine through and radiate about you, touching the lives and karmas of others. It is something that then becomes natural, almost without thought or meditation - it becomes natural as breathing or just being. But on the other hand, it is something that eludes me continually. This is most true on certain days, when I am confronted with hatred and ignorance, but more of the former than the latter. These two human vices are like contagions, poisons that can seep into anything they come across. When they come across my path, I find it hard then to block it what little compassion and tolerance I’ve been trying to cultivate in the last few weeks. I find myself back to square one.

I hate feeling hate. It makes my blood boil and my heart race, so that I feel like I have to shout or punch cushions and pillows to get it out of my system. It sounds horrible, but the worst is when I turn that hate onto the people I love. They take it as being mood swings, but if they only knew. This isn’t merely hormonal ranting anymore. When I see how dogmatic and utterly unwilling people are to see the truth of things, or even show the same tolerance I would show to them, what starts off as annoyance quickly simmers into anger.

Surely encompassed within compassion are all the other virtues we strive for. I’ve thought about deeply for a while now. There can be no truth without compassion, because to be truly concerned for an individual, one must be honest with them. There can be no respect without compassion, because respect relies upon a rudimentary acknowledgement for another person’s humanity. Following all these, patience, gentleness, tolerance and courage - I can see now how all of these are tied ultimately to compassion. I understand now why some Buddhists value mercy and forgiveness over wisdom, once thought to be the ultimate goal, and the fastest way to Enlightenment. Wisdom is all very good, but it helps only those free of ignorance. Those unlucky enough to realise the potential of a true nature are left to wallow in the abyss of oblivion forever, perpetuating samsara. Even Jesus Christ preached this message to his disciples. He said the greatest thing anyone can hope to do in His name is to “love thy neighbour”. It was what he taught to listeners again and again in his parables, and in instances where he showed mercy and compassion to outcasts, criminals and the undesirables of society (Mary Magdalene and Zacchaeus but to name a few). He forgot nobody and included everybody.

Compassion starts small. It starts at home, perhaps and then grows to incorporate others, and eventually the world - even those my old self would loathe or hate without a moment’s thought. I strive to show more kindness to my family and friends. I hope God (in whatever form He chooses to help me with as I undertake this) can sustain this hope I have.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

April 2008

I had a dream last night worth mentioning here. I cannot remember exactly what I dreamt about last night, but I do recollect a great sense of sadness, maybe even despair. I can’t remember that clearly. Usually when I feel that great sorrow my dreams I will cry in real life, but here I don’t remember waking up with tears on my face. Nevertheless, this is relevant I think to this spiritual diary. Lord Avalokiteshvara appeared in my dreams, in the form of the goddess Guan Yin and I remember kneeling at her feet, weeping. My family were involved somehow, perhaps indirectly, but I remember they were apart of the dream. Guan Yin said something to me, I can’t remember exactly her words, but then she poured a vase of water over me. I remember being so happy and sad all at once. The dream ended like that, or at least that’s all I can recall.

I wonder if this is a sign of some kind. I have read about Guan Yin appearing to people in dreams before, and this is the first time any deity or form of the Divine has appeared to me in dream mode. I don’t want to construe something out of nothing, or nothing out of something, but I don’t take visions of bodhisattvas lightly. This may be linked to my goal of trying to attain a more compassionate nature. I wish so ardently to open my heart to others, materially and emotionally. I want to follow in her footsteps and learn to tolerate and love others, even if they are flawed. I myself am flawed, but still Guan Yin was kind and loving enough to anoint and comfort me.

Namo Guan Yin Pusa.

March 2008

I have never given the Bible much deep thought. Perhaps I accepted it as a part of my life from an early age and so I took much of the messages and teachings for granted. Now that I am older and able to decide for myself, I find myself increasingly unsatisfied with the scriptures I grew up with. There are inconsistencies everywhere, and I have many questions with no answers, and the answers I have been given I am unhappy with. There is violence everywhere. Not until the New Testament do I see any wholesome, pure forms of love for one’s neighbour. There is no mercy, no tolerance, no compassion. All things seem bound by a code of strict and, frankly, meaningless tradition or rituals. God seems unbelievably petty at times. A sort of you scratch my back and I’ll scratch your’s or I’ll rain down hellfire on you and your seed kind of entity.

I find that I am lacking gratitude in my life, and above all, compassion. Never before have I felt it so intensely in my life, this desire to feel love for everyone I know and meet. It’s like I’ve woken up. I should have started documenting this the very moment I felt this, but it was not long ago so anyone reading this can be assured of its authenticity. It first started about 3 weeks ago, when I started reading more and more about Buddha’s teaching. It was then I first stumbled upon Avalokiteshvara, or Guan Yin as I grew up knowing him/her - the bodhisattva of infinite compassion. As a child I heard tales of Guan Yin’s boundless mercy for everyone in the world, even those that seem evil, despicable and thoroughly irredeemable. No one is left unaccounted for, even those with such grave karmic energy hanging over them that all hope seems lost. Avalokiteshvara will wait and guide us until we all reach the eternal bliss of nirvana, and freedom from all suffering. Also I was drawn to his gentleness. It was far from the wrathful and petty jealous image of God Jehovah I grew up with. It seemed more like an Eastern form of Jesus; an all embracing and forgiving form of the divine. Avalokiteshvara’s boundless love for all sentient beings touched me and made me question my own lack of love for others. It was here also that I noticed for the first time the word ‘sentient’. It means capable of feeling emotion or sensation, and it made me think long and hard about the depth of love this bodhisattva holds for us all: human, animal or otherwise.

Naturally then, I find myself drawn to the teachings of Buddhism, and along with it, Hinduism. A strange mix, I would have agreed some years ago, as the former denies there being any God in the world and the latter has a million plus forms of the Divine. But not only is it the Dharma I am drawn to, but also how vastly peaceful these religions are in comparison to Christianity and Islam. How many wars have been fought in the name of Jehovah and Allah? I don’t mean to say there has not been blood shed in the name of Buddhism and Hinduism, for doubtless, conflict will be apart of human history in the name of any faith or following, but I realise how great a stress both religions place on the principle of ahimsa, or non-violence. Christianity and Islam only lightly touch upon this virtue of respecting life, in all its forms, human or animal or otherwise. It says “thou shalt not kill” in the Bible, but the people teeming inside the pages kill each other anyway as forms of retribution, honour or sacrifice, often in the most brutal fashions imaginable.

Also I find myself growing more and more annoyed at how Christians and Muslims of the world “impose” their religion on others, disregarding totally and without even so much as a moment’s thought for what people believe themselves. I know now each man’s religion, his spirituality is a sacred thing. Even if he does not have a religion, his beliefs are his right and his alone. It is something he should not be disparaged for. It is something I believe to be respected and tolerated just as skin colour and sexual orientation should be, although I realise this doesn’t happen in every part of the world. I find it remarkable how many groups are driven to convert the world to their side, sometimes with a maniacal passion - although obsession is a more apt description - that I find highly unlikely their God is fuelling. I refuse to believe the ultimate reality we perceive as the divine power, whether we call Him by the names Jehovah, Yahweh, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Buddha or by Her name Shakti the Divine Mother would condone this fighting, all this bloodshed. They have tainted the very essence of the universe and existence with their notions that their own god is the true God and all else is bogus.

I am exhausted from even thinking about it. Which is why I want to retreat. I want to leave behind the world I grew up in, the world of religious superiority that preaches there is only one God. There is this, and that and the covenant and so on. I wish to find out for myself. Buddha’s words struck a chord with me once. He said,

“Don’t be satisfied with hearsay or tradition or legend, or with what’s come down from your scriptures, or with conjecture or logical inference or weighing evidence or a particular liking for a view… or with the thought: ‘The monk is our teacher.’ When you know in yourselves: ‘These ideas are unprofitable… being adopted and put into effect they lead to harm and suffering’, then abandon them. But when you know in yourselves: ‘These things are profitable…’ then you should practise and abide in them.”

A God that cannot learn to love or tolerate everyone, even those that do not believe in Him or who do not recognise His existence, is no god to me. The notion of spiritual liberation, of moksha or salvation or whatever you want to call it… cannot be this black and white. It just can’t; I refuse to believe it.

March 2008

I’ve started doing proper mantra meditation today. I should have started a long time ago, but I have come to the realisation I may have been using the wrong mantra. Added to that, I haven’t been chanting consistently for 40 consecutive days, and I feel I need a fresh start. It’ll give me a chance to try out a more appropriate mantra for the particular mala beads I have (rosewood).

Namely, it is the mantra invoking the Hindu god, Ganesha. It goes like this:

Om Gam Ganapatayei Namaha

I feel an inherent respect for God in all His forms, either in nature, in of different divinities or otherwise, but I have always felt a certain particular regard for the elephant-headed Ganesha. His eyes are so gentle. Lord Ganesha reminds me of Lord Krishna, yet perhaps a little more peaceable than the boisterous avatar of Lord Vishnu. I feel His boundless generosity when I think of His name and image. I have read in some Vedic texts describing the attributes of Lord Ganesha, that to accept his unusual form (an elephant-headed man is something of a shock I would imagine to Westerners) is to go beyond mere appearances. To accept that the Divine can be found in things we do not anticipate, which is a good practice I believe. I try not to judge things based on surface appearances anymore. And besides, more than any other Hindu god I have come across, I have felt Lord Ganesha is the most accessible, even to a non-initiate like myself. He is ever-smiling and radiates an abundance that makes me feel safe in His presence. I have also found it amazingly easy to connect with Sri Ganesha. It is almost as if He welcomes me to Him. It is appropriate perhaps I should restart my mantra meditation proper with this mantra. He is, after all, the Lord of Beginnings. I think I need a new start.

I started japa mala today and was quite amazed at how many rounds I was able to do. No disrespect meant to my old mantra or the aspect of God that presided over it (Lord Shiva), but it would take my a long time to say just one round and sometimes I felt it was a strain on me, or that it didn’t sit right with me for long. Perhaps in the future, when I have delved into deeper states of consciousness, can I try my hand at it again. For now, it is kind, benevolent Lord Ganesha who lights my way.

Jai Sri Ganesha!

My Spiritual Journey

Namaste. My spiritual journey began some years ago, when I found myself becoming increasingly unhappy with my life as Catholic. Things didn't seem to make very much sense, my devotion was middling at best, and I felt myself being drawn to other great spiritual paths of the east. I was initially drawn to Buddhism, but then questioned the origins of Sakyamuni and the other great teachers, till I finally decided to research more about Hinduism, or Sanatana Dharma. As I gradually became acquainted with its ways, the wisdom behind its teachings and everything about this vibrant and beautiful path, I knew I was coming closer to feeling that happiness that people have talked about when they see they've rediscovered God. I owe Sri Ganesha a lot, for it was He who led me to this path - all praises and credit for anything I have accomplished go to Him.

I plan to post some of my diary entries that I kept, starting back in March of 2008 when I became serious about Sanatana Dharma and began encompassing some of its principles into my life. I will date them as appropriate and hope to continue updating the diaries from now on this blogspot.

Om namah Shivaya